Don´t let people know what you fear

Keith doesn´t really know what is happening to her. Not a clue. But she feels sad everyday.

She wants to cry, but there are no tears avaliable.
She wants to take a new direction. It seems there is no other way.

Last december, she broke up with Gabriel. So many questions poping since..
Why? Why give up on love before you think you gonna get hurt?
Why throw away a chance to be happy or, at least, to give it a try?

That happens because people fear.
People are cowards. Some of us, like Keith.
She got used being alone. All by herself. No answers to give. No questions. No stress. No love. She thought it would be better like this, no emotions involved. She was wrong.

"Don´t let people know what you fear" - she once heard.
When you are in love with someone, you lose strentgh.
You lose control of your life because your life is not yours any longer. And if you stop to think about for a second, you would say.. Come on! I dont want that! I want my life back.
She was completely wrong.

And the worst part is that she thinks about him every single day. Everyday.
She kept all the memories. The big ones, the silly ones.

The way he use to stare at her. His hands. His soft cheek. Black hair... The white sofa. The black carpet. Her black flowered dress. The chinese food. Japanese food. Wedding. Best man. Dance. All over.

When love takes over, the best thing you can do is surrender. No second thoughts.
No matter what.
She regrets.
Maybe she will talk about it over a dinner. Over a visit. While she tries to get her favourite dvd back. Damm! She was pretty sure he was never going to leave her. But he did.

It might be late to get back.
She is thinking.
Time to dress up with words.
Because right now, she doesnt control her life. Her heart is doing that, and its painfull.
Tic.
The clock is ticking.
Its time to get it back.